In the limbo of the unknown, I sometimes feel like I never fully unpacked when I first came to London. There was always this question of “What next?” even before I shifted here. It’s been two years since I first came to this country, and I have an answer for “what's next?”

I’m leaving!

My maa told me not to tell anyone. 

A superstition, part of the evil eye 

But everyone knows, 

Everyone I know knows. 

They knew before I knew, 

I thought if I told everyone

I might get the evil eye 

And then, I won’t have to leave.  

So, what's the confusion?

Just stay.

No!

Why?

Because I miss home, 

Because I feel guilty for living in the UK, 

Because I feel like I owe my country. 

Because everything feels easier there, 

The comfort of familiarity seems addictive, 

The comfort of not sticking out feels calm. 

So, why was it a dilemma in the first place?

It’s easy to be a woman here, 

Some stigmas are looser here 

It’s easier being an artist here 

Some professions are safer here

Anyways, 

let’s get to the point

So, it’s final that I’m leaving 

And this is me packing up! 

Chalo, bye. 

Exhibited at

New Art Gallery Walsall, Walsall 

In support of GRAIN and ArtFund